"No silence / exists / that / is not / pregnant / with / sound."
— John Cage (via marquis-in-spades-at)
From “The Next Tango With Paris,” Ta-Nehisi Coates
School never ends for the hard student. She is primarily concerned with her curiosities, not the benchmarks of others.
My expectations for French are derived from my experience. I expect to suck for awhile. Then I expect to slowly get better. The point is neither mastery, nor fluency. The point is hard study—the repeated application of a principle until the eyes and ears bleed a little. And then all of that again. In my time as a hard student, I have found that it is much better to focus on process, than outcomes. The question isn’t “When will I master the subjunctive?” It’s “Did I put in my hour of study today?”
I’ve gone back to some classics—English Grammar For Speakers of French. I’ve gone back to some non-classics—X-Men: Second Coming en Français. I’m going to have three hour long conversations a week. And I am going to do this because I like doing it. I like the study and discovery. Fluency—to the extent it exists—is not really up to any conscious part of me.
On y va mes amis.